


Scars

by Arlene0401



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Amputation, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Hallucinations, Inspired by Fanart, M/M, Manga Spoilers, set during/after chapter 97
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 07:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12249441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlene0401/pseuds/Arlene0401
Summary: Eren is not the only one who has to get used to being an amputee. Having inflicted the injuries on him, Levi has a lot of coping to do as well.





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zhigard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zhigard/gifts).



> My lovely friend [noenoh](noenoh.tumblr.com) made this amazing [ereri artwork](http://noenoh.tumblr.com/post/165949123733/before-you-leave-i-almost-trow-this-thing-i-did) and it gave me such heavy feels I had to get them out of my system.
> 
> Suffer with me.

It’s a rare treat to have the bathroom to himself, and Eren heaves a relieved little sigh. He is used to not having much privacy, but being surrounded by shellshocked and traumatised veterans for 24 hours a day is a whole new level of distressing. There is always someone crying or screaming or trying to rip off their bandages, so the only way to find some solace is to retreat into the place behind his eyes.

He leans his hip against a shelf to balance the weight on his one foot and removes the crutch from under his arm. Then he rotates his head and winces at the cracking and popping noises. With his remaining hand, he starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“Are you very tired?”

“Yes.” He lets out a breath he doesn’t know he’d been holding.

Levi hums softly. “It must be exhausting to lean all day on this crutch.”

“I’m used to it by now.”

Warm hands brush over his back, and Eren feels the tension slowly seeping out of his sore muscles.

“You’re doing so well, love.”

Eren smiles at the sincere praise in Levi’s voice. If there is one thing that Levi had never gotten used to, it was Eren’s lizard-like ability to regrow his limbs, heal every injury. He had never said anything, but he didn’t need to for Eren to sense he found it mildly disturbing. But then they had formed the plan for Eren to infiltrate Marley, and this plan included his pretending to be an injured veteran. They knew shifters were able to consciously influence the progress of healing - Eren had seen Reiner do it, after all. What he had to learn was how to tap his ability to stop and increase healing.

On their first trial, it had taken Levi nearly fifteen minutes to work up the nerve to sever Eren’s arm. It had grown back in the usual way. And again. And again. Eren had sat there, cross-eyed with concentration, willing his arm not to heal. Until…

“Oh Maria, look at that. He’s bleeding.”

“Eren? Eren!”

Everything swam out of focus, and he woke up on a bed, with a heavy bandaged stump where his right arm used to be. Levi’s face appeared in his field of vision, scrunched tight with worry.

“Eren. Thank fuck you’re awake.”

Then he had sunk down by the bed, clutched Eren’s hand in his and wept.

“I’m sorry, Eren, I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Eren managed. This was the plan all along, wasn’t it? I’m glad I finally worked it out. Dunno if I could have handled much more of that.” He chuckled weakly.

Levi wiped the tears from his face. “How… how do you feel?”

He considered the question. “It hurts. It’s been so long since I really received an injury, but I figure this is what normally feels like to have your arm chopped off. And there’s a… I don’t know how to describe it. Some buzzing on the inside. As if the titan energy tries to rush into the arm, but I can keep it away now. I don’t know for how long I can control it, though.”

A tiny, hesitant smile krept on Levi’s face, and he pulled Eren’s hand close to kiss the knuckles. “You can do it. I believe in you.”

Throughout the next days, Levi took care of Eren’s needs with utmost tenderness. He changed the bandages and cleaned the wound, with careful, precise fingers. He helped Eren dress and undress, bathe and eat, no matter how much Eren insisted he must learn to manage on his own.

“You must concentrate on keeping your healing powers at bay,” Levi insisted stubbornly. He held him close at night, carefully running fingers through unruly locks when he thought Eren had fallen asleep, whispering sweet nothings into his skin. Finally, it had dawned on Eren that Levi needed this - needed to dote on him to make up for hurting him. Needed to encourage him when he grew tired, praise him, shower him in affection.

Now, Eren doesn’t fight it any longer. “Thank you,” he sighs.

Nimble fingers unbutton his shirt completely and slowly, reverently slide the garment down his shoulders. Warm lips trail over the exposed skin, breathing featherlight kisses to the nape of his neck, and Eren shivers.

“I’m so sorry it’s you who has to go through this. It always has to be you. It’s unfair.”

“Nothing in this world is fair,” Eren replies, and it sounds more weary than a 19 year old’s voice has any right to be. “But as long as you’re with me, I can face anything.” He swallows. “Levi, you will… you will stay with me, yes?”

“Always.”

Eren reaches up to cup the hand that rests lightly on his stump, but of course it’s not there. 

He’s alone in the room.

“In your heart and mind; I’m always with you,” Levi affirms.

“This is not real. You’re only… the Levi I remember. I… I don’t even know if the real you is still alive.”

“I am as real as everything else in your mind’s eye. Do you see the door?”

“Of course I do.”

“Now, close your eyes. Is the door still there?”

Eren scoffs. “Of course it’s still there. Just because I don’t see it anymore doesn’t mean it’s gone.”

“See? I am still there. As long as you live, I will never leave you.”

Tears threaten to spill from underneath Eren’s closed eyelids. “But I miss you so much.”

“I know, baby. I miss you too.” Warmth surrounds him, a loving caress that winds its way through skin and tissue right into the core of his heart. “We can do this. Together, we can do this.”

“I love you, Levi,” Eren says to the empty room. He takes a shuddery breath and pulls himself back into reality. 

Time to get into the bath before the water turns cold.

“One way or another we’ll be united again.” His fingers skim over the faint welts that have been left behind by Levi’s previous attempts to cut off his arm - the only scars that have ever remained on his body. 

“Soon.”


End file.
